Slash And Destroy
by Alexander Collins
Summary: The Northen Edge-Guard has called for a little help in dealing with a crimanl seen. Will they be able to defeat her? Who will get kapowied? Will someone get laid? Will they be grossed out? Why don't you find out? Remeber to review and like;)


Sheila and Thropan waited outside one of the portals connecting Jade and Earth realm. They started to become impatient waiting for the agents to arrive. Every minute they wasted waiting for them, another victim fell into her clutches. "Where the hell are they?!" Sheila asked. "We could have caught her by now instead of waiting for them."

"Patience, little one…" Thropan sighed. "…We agreed to let them help us in capturing her since she's on their rouges gallery. If she's as dangerous as we heard, we need all the help we can get and apparently these two are the best agents they have." The portal suddenly began to open and two figures stepped though the light.

"Man. Why is it that whenever I go through these Jade gateways, my fur always gets itchy?" Stryyp asked. "I wouldn't know. Considering the only hair I have is on the top of my head." M stated. "What took you guys so long?! Don't you know that we have a criminal that needs to be kapowied?!" Sheila crossed her arms. Thropan stepped forward. "Sorry about Sheila. She can be a bit…impatient sometimes. I'm Thropan. Thank you for agreeing to help us."

"Thank you. You can call me M and this is Stryyp. From what we heard from our sources, she can be found in the village nearby."

Thropan nodded. "Yes she's been hiding out nearby for the last few weeks. She's surprisingly stealthy and has been avoiding our trackers for a while. But everyone and then there would be strange wounds showing up in the local hospital. We had a feeling that it was here so we called you."

"What do call this girl anyway?" Sheila asked

"Slasher" M stated ominously…

Through the whole night they patrolled the village. Asking the local townsfolk of anything strange. For a while they though that she simply moved on to a new hunting ground until they heard noise coming from the local bar. Apparently there was a woman in their starting a fight with the locals. They knew it was here when one of them muttered something about a whip…

"N-No please! Stay away from me. Don't hurt me." The elf cowered backing into a nearby wall as she approached him with a deranged look on her face. Slasher wore her standard look. A skintight suit tinted black with a belt containing numerous throwing knives and stars her hair was tied up into a ponytail. Thanks to a local blacksmith dwarf who had a masochist streak, she had plenty of new equipment she wanted to try out. But she had gotten bored with him. She wanted something…younger.

"You sorry little piece of s**t! You little f***er! You picked the wrong night to have a night out by yourself." Slasher muttered. "Because cute little guys like you…" she brought her whip precious up to her mouth and ran her tongue over it. Energy crackling and hissing from her touch. "…ARE MY FAVORITE FLAVOR! I'm going to make this nice, slow and painful! Don't worry. You'll learn to love your mama when she's done." She cracked her whip on the wall behind him leaving a burning slash mark. The elf cringed on terror. She raised her whip again, ready to crack it again… this time over his face.

A picture nearby suddenly exploded in flames surprising Slasher. "That was a warning shot! Next time I won't miss!" she turned around and saw where it was coming from. Stryyp had his hand raised like a gun. It glowed red from just using the Flame Raker artifact fused within him. Slasher raised you eyebrows in interest. "Well well. Long time no see, Stripy was it? I'll get back to you in a minute. Just as soon as I get my rocks off from this little guy. She turned her focus back to the cringing elf and realized that he snuck away when her back was turned. Slasher seethed with rage. "Mother***er! You just cost me my new toy! Now you're going to pay for it! With a flick of her wrist she sent her Precious towards the team in a wide arc. They quickly duck to avoid the slash as the whip ran straight through the wall behind them. She jumped towards them while grabbing the knives on her waist. With speed and precision four knives crackling with energy went speeding towards their skulls. Sheila summoned her weapon Ice Fang and Summoned a shield to protect them. Thankfully the shield was strong enough to stop them halfway…

Suddenly Slasher jumped over the shield opting to axe kick Sheila only to be stopped by Thropan as he blocked her attack with his Earth Flail. He pulled it apart to form its nun chuck form and wrapped it around Slasher's leg. With a flick of his wrist she threw her over to a wall. Miracles flew behind her and grabbed her with both of his hands. "It's over Slasher! You have been caught. Surrender now!"

Slasher scoffed at him. "All these years and your still such a blow hard. With her free hand she grabbed a cylinder and pressed the top. It exploded into a cloud of smoke as Slasher laughed maddeningly. Sheila shrieked in pain. "This gas has silver in it. I can't see." Pain erupted from her back as she was whipped by Slasher. She kicked backwards clipped Slashers chin as she jumped back. "You are going to pay for that you crazy b*tch! I am going to kapowie your big butt so hard you'll look like your wearing shoulder pads!" "Bigger is better, little girly girl! Ditch your training braw and find out!"

M inhaled deeply and blew gale force winds enough to blow away the smoke. He spotted Slasher behind a cringing Sheila as she gripped her shoulder in pain. "Oh sh*t!' she exclaimed. Using the Spectral Talon, Stryyp launched a TK Sphere at Slasher and knocked Precious out of her hand.

Slasher did _not like this_ her eyes became blood red as she pulled out two daggers from her belt. With an ear piercing shriek she sprinted towards him. She aimed a kick for her head and he duck. She took this opportunity and thrusted towards his chest. He barely missed as it grazed his shoulder. He leapt back wincing from the pain. Slasher looked him in the eyes as he brought the bloody dagger to her mouth and ran her tongue against the blood. Her eyes fluttered as she shivered in pleasure. Nothing was more orgasmic to her that the pain of others…

Needless to say, Stryype was disturbed. She knew she was sadistic but this was too much. "You taste good, kitty cat. Maybe I'll make you my new pet and let you poke my litter box…" Stryype backed up slightly ready for the next attack. Slasher raised her arm intending to throw it directly at him. Suddenly a large hand grabbed her wrist. She turned around and saw a red headed woman taller and bustier than her. Thanks to her birth defect, Sheila's human form got most of her physical strength so she only used it for emergencies or when she really wanted to beat up someone… Like right now. She threw Slasher into a wall with such force she cracked the wall greatly. Slasher fell to the ground slightly dazed. "You She-Hulk rip-off! I'm going to…" But before she could finish her sentence a small sphere rolled in front of her. She looked at it in confusion before it opened up and revealed a bright blue light. When it diminished she was gone…

"What was that?" Sheila asked as she shifted back into her hybrid form.

"M walked over to the sphere and picked it up. "Our newest development in supervillain apprehension. With it, we can capture supervillains with ease." He tossed it into the air and caught it. Inside slasher was kicking and punching against the walls yelling various obscenities. Luckily it was soundproof…

Stryype walked over clutching his shoulder and chuckled. "Now we know it works. I owe Dorton _so_ much money…" He turned his attention to Sheila. "Nice toss by the. How's your back?" "It's alright…" Sheila shrugged "good thing I'm a fast healer." After repairing the bar and compensating the bar owner they returned to the portal healed and ready to go. "Thanks again for helping us out" Thropan bowed. "No problem. Just let us know if you ever need our help again." M smiled. Together he and Stryype walked through the gate and back to their home dimension. As Sheila waved goodbye a thought suddenly emerged. "Hey Thropan. Do you think we can make one of those capture thingies? I would love to see the look on Tigra's face. Thropan simply rolled his eyes and groaned….


End file.
